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What Kind Of Son/Daughter Are You! (No Longer The Victim)

In my previous post, I revealed an episode that occurred between me and my father. I also shared some parenting tips that I learned as a result of what I experienced. Today, I want to talk about no longer being a victim of past circumstances and living life victoriously.


I understand that sometimes we will experience things that will cause strongholds to develop in our lives. There are times when you are aware of these strongholds and either deal with them or try to bury the memory, hoping that it will go away. However there are other times in which you are totally unaware of a stronghold being present. This was the case with me because I tried to suppress my past in order to avoid dealing with it.

I respect both of my parents, regardless of what they may or may not have done. I love them both no matter what and I also understand that they did the best they could in raising children, according to the information that was available during those times.

Today, we have more resources available that allow us to reflect on, study and understand to bring healing to our lives through the Word of God and the experiences of others. I truly thank God for walking me through my healing process so that I could have more wisdom and help others to break free as well.

I lived as a victim for much of my life due to a broken home and an absent father. I came to realize that there were some strongholds present in my life that were preventing me from being the father that my children needed me to be. Once I became aware, it was difficult to bring myself to attempt a conversation with my father in order to try and understand what happened to me and to offer forgiveness.

Although I was ready to understand and talk about my strongholds, my father wasn’t willing to discuss or own up to anything relating to his role as a father. It was hurtful to me to accept, but freeing at the same time because that is when God started me on a journey to becoming aware of myself, my faults, failures, pains and experiences in order to share my knowledge with others who make be seeking answers to similar unanswered questions in their own lives.

I want to share with you some things I did that finally set me free from my past burdens and allow me to now declare that “I am no longer a victim!”

1.  Identity those things in your past that you still carry in your heart. If you haven’t been freed, these things will still bring pain when you think about them.

2.  Forgive whomever it was that caused you hurt. Matt 6:14-15 warns that if you don’t forgive, God cannot forgive you, but if you do forgive them, God stands ready to forgive you too!

3.  If these are issues with someone that you are able to talk to, have a conversation with them and discuss your feelings, not with blame, but with compassion. After you talk to them, forgive them verbally and mean it! If the person is deceased or unwilling to talking write them a letter following the advice above, seal it with forgiveness and throw it away.

4.  Begin to live with a heart of compassion, seeking first to understand the other person’s point of view or what caused them to do a thing, before you attempt to have them understand your feelings.

From this moment on, you can live a life of total freedom because through true forgiveness, you can control if and how any situation affects you.

Till next time,

Stay On Guard!

Bro. Donnell

About Building & Guarding Families

I am a 36 yr old, married father of 3 children. I have had relationship with God for the last 15 years, but it wasn't until I started my own family that I understood why God made me different. A passion grew in me for building and guarding my family from the failures of those that went before me. I want to share that passion and the wisdom I accumulated over the years to help others to strengthen their families and guide their children the way God intended.


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